AMA MIA

As you may (or perhaps, may not) have noticed... I have not been great at blogging lately.
This is my new life, I fear.
School and work and everything keeps me really quite busy. And I just can't justify using any spare moments publicizing my ridiculous thoughts on the world wide web.
I know, I know.
This is tragic.
You all miss me.
You're begging me to quit school and blog full-time.
I know.
Well, if it makes you feel any better- I will think about it.

So... today I decided that I was going to plant myself on campus and not leave until everything I have is finished. Everything.
I am further selling my soul for the sake of education. That bull that we call "Big Blue".
Okay, okay. The point of this ridiculous ramble:
I felt justified in blogging. I mean, on a regular day I would spend this time taking the bus home to eat lunch.
(Why in the world am I sharing all of these details with you? I guess I'm going through withdrawals; too much time away from you causes me to do strange things.)

Alrighty. I will now blog; update you on the events of my life via letters.
Here goes:

Dear Ashley,
I hope that you met an attractive surfer dude.
And also learned how to be Gidget.
So that you can teach me.
On Saturday.
When I see you.
You know, that day when all of my dreams come true.
Love,
Your #1 fan

Dear dream that I had the other night,
I hope that you are not a dream that comes true when Ashley comes.
You were cool because I got to interact with Elder and Sister Holland.
But once I noticed the enormous tattoo on the side of my leg...
Things took a slightly different turn.
Please never visit my sleeping mind again.
Never.
You are a freaky dream,
Your victim

Dear couple that was being gross and making out in the study lounge of the institute,
You are gross.
Seriously.
I feel ill.
Also, valentines is over.
So get over it.
Go to the library, or somewhere a little more suitable.
Also also, this is the institute of religion...
and I am not thinking Heavenly thoughts.
You're gross,
Not bitter, just appalled.

Dear boy that went to the play with me,
Remember that one time that we were having a doorstep scene?
And you thanked me and said that you had a good time?
And... the only thing that came out of my mouth was the word "sorry"?
Remember how the recover for said comment was even worse?
I would appreciate it if you would promptly forget all of those things.
Thanks,
I said THANKS and not sorry this time. (It's okay if you remember that)

Dear play,

Remember how I love the movie version of you?
You were good too.
However, the magic was a little different.
How do you actually do magic during a stage production?
Well, it was entertaining.
So thanks.
Also, the aforementioned boy requested that there be mice in the show.
Could we make that happen?
The movie has dancing mice.
Eh? Eh?
Love,
Why has nobody heard of you? You are the best.

Dear Google translator,
You are the best.
Spanish makes more sense with you.
However, I have a request.
Could you please learn to translate scholarly articles into English?
That would be the best thing ever.
You could save me hours and hours of homework.
Thank you,
You are brilliant. And multilingual.

Dear Homework,
You win.
Here I come,
Your constant companion.